October 2-December 11, 2021 – CFT Pieces (S47 E1-8)

Immediate Pre-Review Thoughts:-

• The segments that will be reviewed here will not factor into the official average of the episodes, nor the increase or decrease of Update’s rating.
• Although, each of the rated segments here, either in getting panned or lavishly praised will be eventually added into my end-of-the-season rankings, both the highlights & lowlights of the year will include CFT pieces.
• This one is also written for two purposes, to complete this project officially in my mind, and as a belated birthday present for Jesse. Well, there is some crap in here Jesse, so I’m sorry.

(Owen Wilson / Kacey Musgraves – S47 E1)

Splitting the Check

• I do recall liking this piece.
• (*sigh*) Aristotle in another useless role in his first episode, while James opens the show, and Sarah hits the ground running.
• Well-directed piece so far, on par with the other pretapes.
• Either Owen is whispering his lines or I cannot hear properly.
• As for Owen, he’s doing pretty well here, certainly better than almost all of his performances in the episode, I’ll chalk it to stress & him being a movie star not a stage performer.
• Loving the turns that this one is taking.
• Ok, random return of Aristotle as some villain, decent usage at least of him.
• Weird ending tagline, is this again parodying something I don’t know? Jeez I feel like under a rock with how out-of-the-loop I’m with current pop culture, despite being only 24.
• Overall, pretty good and thankfully the episode was solid enough, yet this should’ve replaced that horrible Talking sketch.

Rating: ***1/2

(Kim Kardashian West / Halsey – S47 E2)

Costco Meeting

• Lovely to see Sarah doing something in this episode, but her voice is somewhat too loud here for some reason.
• Sarah’s look here reminds of certain celeb, I just cannot remember whom. Come to think of it Sarah does bear strong resemblance to Tina Fey, Emma Stone, Melissa, and Kate bush. I bet she could do a killer Kate Bush too.
• (*groan*) back to reality as this turns into another whacky skit.
• Wtf with Bowen just now?! You’re too much of a pro to start giggling right away, and he thankfully barely if ever breaks in skits, aside from a very brief moment in the classic Cast List skit.
• Surprisingly, Kim is not that bad in this.
• Loved Sarah’s delivery about dragging Costco’s enemies.
• (*sigh*) Aidy’s voice in this is abusing my eardrums, despite loving some of her musical pieces in the past.
• Don’t tell me this is gonna turn into ”YAS Kween!” there are better ways to address suppressive misogyny than this.
• Aidy’s voice is getting on my nerves, snd the songs aren’t giving me even a slight smirk.
• Bowen surprisingly in the past succeeded in getting some strong skits that had elements of LGBTQ+ culture in them, like the great Sara Lee one from his first season, but this just gets a big NOPE from me.
• Weird that Sarah’s password skit wasn’t uploaded on Youtube, I’m guessing she might try to get it on air. From what I’ve heard if it, it seems pretty solid and might even get a four-stars rating if done properly.
• Very lame line from Kim regarding their ages.
• Believe it or not, I would’ve actually preferred to have this on air, as it’s still MUCH better than nearly half of what we got on air. Not to mention that it would’ve given Bowen, Sarah, and Kyle more to do.

Rating: *

(Rami Malek / Young Thug – S47 E3)

Superhosts

• UGH! this already looks like an Anderlette skit, and is reminding me somewhat of that disgusting Gemma character, the nadir of Cecily’s tenure. Well, aside from her LAUGHABLE hosting stint on Update.
• Am I supposed to laugh at Cecily and Rami acting weird? and are the various gifts they’re giving them supposed to be funny? Also, how did they just enter the house? wasn’t there any locks? so many questions, so little laughs.
• I’m about halfway into this, and all I see is some lame attempt at weird non-sequiter humor, which is landing with a thud.
• So sad to see Melissa dragged into this, she deserves much better than to play a second fiddle to a fucking Cecily Strong whacky self-indulgent piece of shit piece.
• This is DRAGGING!!!!
• Oh my GOD, this has to be even worse than that Broadway Benefit tripe. How low will Cecily’s decline continue??
• Happy that this dogshit piece was cut, especially considering how flawless & consistently strong the episode that aired was.

Rating: *

Please Don’t Destroy – Rami Wants a Treat

• Great to be able to review one of these.
• Man, these guys really have stage presence and likability, again I’m hoping some of them will join the cast after the potential exodus.
• Pretty solid escalation once again in these pieces, and Rami is performing this very well.
• Love the dramatic speech that Rami is giving, this is surprisingly touching in a way.
• Ah, they got me again with Rami destroying the laptop, solid reaction from them once again.
• Pretty great, I would’ve replaced the Pete music video with this one, yet the episode was great and Pete’s piece was decent.

Rating: ****

Brutal Marriage Movie

• For some reason, this is reminding me of the classic Lesbian Period Drama piece from Carey Mulligan’s stint last season, I would assume both had the same director.
• Good jabs at Oscar bait movies in this, and although I’m not laughing much, this is still decent.
• Surprised this was over already.

Rating: ***

(Jason Sudeikis / Brandi Carlile – S47 E4)

Weekend Update

• Great to see Alex getting a commentary again after the fantastic Terry Fink piece earlier this season. Yes, I know this didn’t make it to air, I’m speaking about getting to see it.
• The usual laughs from Alex’s GWJBAB even though the jokes get a little repetitive after a while.
• Ok, we get it, your dick is small.
• An ok commentary overall, even though it’s sad not to see this one end Update as planned, good to see it uploaded on Youtube for a change.
• Good to see Melissa on Update, hopefully she’ll rectify the way she bombed back in the Adele episode. Still shuddering from that moment over a year ago.
• Ah, Melissa is being her usual adorable & charming herself, shame how her tenure ended up.
• Yes! I’m loving that Melissa gets to sing here, as she’s like Aidy, originally specialized in musical comedy.
• Solid Mary Poppins imitation, and the crowd is loving this surprisingly.
• Solid commentary overall from Melissa, and this should’ve made it on air, a good showcase for her & a fun piece overall, and it would’ve increased the rating to a very high ****1/2.

Rating: N/A ( segments like this do not warrant a rating)

(Kieran Culkin / Ed Sheeran – S47 E5)

Weekend Update

• Quite the take on the ”let’s go Brandon” meme.
• Kyle is quite endearing in this, and the various ”Aww’s” from the crowd basically confirm it.
• A cute ending with the crowd getting engaged with this and chanting ”Let’s go, Badanoodles”. Che looks somewhat surprised by this.
• Frustrating that the Ice Cube commentary got on air and this didn’t. this was MILES better than Kenan’s piece, and features a good Kyle performance, and this would’ve bumped that Update by possibly a full star.

Rating: N/A ( segments like this do not warrant a rating)

(Simu Liu / Saweetie – S47 E7)

Please Don’t Destroy – Touch Up

• Here comes another favorite of mine.
• Hilarious & impressive makeup on Ben as he enters.
• As always, solid escalation & performance from all three.
• Loving the long fingers on John, the absurdity in this is ramping up, and I’m HERE for it.
• OH GOD! an insane visual of a tiny head on Martin’s head.
• Great freakout & ending when the second head starts talking.
• This should’ve replaced that lazy Dog Head Man sketch, as it would’ve actually bumped up the episode from being ok into actually being pretty good.

Rating: *****

(Billie Eilish – S47 E8)

Please Don’t Destroy – Future Selves

• Happy to see these guys again.
• Hilarious visual with an older Ben still being a redhead.
• Great delivery just now from younger Ben in response to his older self claim of not wearing a wig.
• That New York-accented guy is hilarious in this, and reminds me of the Sopranos for some reason.
• Great premise also to this piece, and I love their sardonic tone towards their older selves.
• Great ending with the LFNY and the bumper photo.
• This should’ve replaced that Hip-Hop skit, as this would’ve been ANOTHER great pretape in that episode and bump its average higher.

Rating: ****1/2

Angelo Christmas

• Here comes the anticipated return that actually I, and many others full-on predicted that it would happen by the episode’s end, and when that garbage Drezen/Gates word salad piece appeared, I remember being absolutely floored.
• It’s both great & heartwarming to see Aristotle and Angelo get recognition applause from the audience. In less than 10 ”canon” minutes so far this season, and Ari is becoming amongst my favorites in this cast, which is pretty insane to say in merely half a season.
• I did not need a ”Mikey explains/reacts” here as he always derails skits with this schtick, nearly destroying the classic Workout Mirror skit last year.
• Thankfully, Angelo is great here & a solid addition of Billie, who’s giving what I believe to be her finest performance of the night.
• Good look on Billie’s character here, adding to the weirdness and anti-comedic vibe of this piece.
• If Billie is attempting a Björk impression, than it’s SPOT-ON.
• As with the first piece, Aristotle is phenomenal here, the singing, the quick comments, his interactions with both Billie & the crowd are great.
• Aristotle & Billie are seemingly stifling their laughs, I would bitch, but this is dress, and I’m 100% certain that they would’ve kept a straight face on air.
• Cecily & Mikey somewhat starting to get on my nerves, thankfully Ari & Billie are KILLING it here.
• Great audience reception to this piece, and while I would overall rank the first as better, this one had a better sidekick, and I did like Rami in the classic first one.
• Overall, this was as great & fun as the first one. It again featured strong anti-comedy vibes that remind me of Tim & Eric back in the day, which seems to be Aristotle’s speciality. Without question, this should’ve replaced the snooze-inducing Kate mugfest which nearly put me to sleep.

Rating: *****

Final Thoughts:-

• Overall, I enjoyed reviewing these pieces, after suffering with Garbage Cecily & Aidy showcases, the pieces got progressively better; getting some high ratings from me, and culminating in another great Angelo piece that has to be the most baffling cut piece in YEARS.
• Unsurprisingly, the best pieces were the ones either performed by new cast members, like Aristotle’s, or written/performed by fresh writers, like the PDD guys, who continue to deliver great pieces, and I loved their Louder piece on YouTube, reminding me of the classic Del Taco Shoot skit.
• Also not surprising, the worst bits were the ones by past-their-time and on-their-way-out-hopefully cast members, especially Cecily’s piece which frankly ANGERED me with how bad it was. Another low for her this year.

Next Week:-

• Well, THIS week Ariana DeBose is hosting with Bleachers as the musical guest. From what I’ve seen of Ariana, she has the potential to be an absolutely fantastic host, she’s energetic & fun. Hopefully, the show won’t waste her like they did with Simu.
• Also, I’m always happy to see my favorite artists get booked on the show, Bleachers will do great, and They happen to be my second group/artist that I regularly listen to to be booked this season, after Brandi Carlile who killed in her episode. goodbye all, for now till Saturday.